Grr...this bugs me sometimes. I was blog-browsing tonight, as I do every time I'm bored as sin, and stumbled across some similar themes. Some were strangers, some were people I know from some aspect of my life.

The theme is: self-identity. It blows my mind how many people still sound like 14 year olds at this stage of their lives. Looking everywhere they possibly can for something to make them feel better about themselves, a song in most cases. Something that usually says "you're different, that makes you better than all those other sheep". Upon finding this song they get self-righteous because they are different and the rest of us are all one of the crowd. And of course, in an hour or so the song wears off and they go back into their depressive slumps.

We are all sheep. Granted, every single one of us is unique...but do you know how few categories you would need to encompass every individual person? We all fit into some kind group. The fun example is the group of hardcore goths who must dress the same and listen to the same obscure music to prove their uniqueness...but again, it's not just the goths, that's just my example, probably because it's the most well-known. "Insecure and constantly in search of self-identity in realms outside of the self" could be a category for the people that inspired this post.

Not to put myself above this. I try to seperate myself from the materialistic and superficial world as much as possible, but hey, I'm not the only one. Throw me into that category. "Seperation from modern life for inner peace". Am I the only one in this category? Not by a long shot. My individual experiences and the resulting thoughts and actions make me unique, but only unique within a group. We are all in groups.

So you know what? Quit trying to make an identity for yourself that is completely seperate from the world. It's not possible, and if it was, you'd live and die alone. And if you think you've done it, good for you, now get the fuck off your high horse and step into reality. You're no better than the rest of the flock, time to accept that.

***Note to the flock - I used to belong to that group: "Insecure and constantly in search of self-identity in realms outside of the self". So you could say I'm speaking from experience here. I grew out of it a long time ago. What bothers me is the huge number of people, of my peers, who have not. Not the 14 year olds, that's what being 14 is about. It's the 20 - 25 year olds who seem to be caught in the identity vaccuum of modern society. I give a certain degree of sympathy to people; the kind of sympathy I would give to an addicted smoker who was surrounded by smokers their entire life and seemed pre-destined to become one. But hey, ultimately it's within everyone's own power what they do with themselves. I could see the limitations to my peace of mind and identity, and I could overcome them. I'm no more special than the next person, so there's nothing stopping those others still stuck there except themselves.

To me it all came down to happiness. It's all I want from life, and I think a lot of people could honestly say the same thing. It's just a matter with dealing with those things that make you unhappy. One by one. It often means confronting personal demons and physical discomforts that you'd just rather avoid, but aversion solves nothing. Temporary pain for long-term gain. Rather than finding the song that gives you an hour of identity, why not find out just why you think you need to find something to identify yourself? It's not like you need to justify who you are to anyone. If you feel you do, then why? Figure out why you think you need to do that, and work your way up.

Life is growth. When we stop growing we stagnate and die. This applies to everything in life, but in my opinion, it applies most importantly to the growth of the self. I feel I've overcome my own boundaries and have begun this "journey" of growth. It's a journey with no end, as one can never be finished with it. We grow forever, until we actually die.

Anyway, enough of the preachy stuff for tonight. That turned out to be a lot longer than I wanted it to be; I was mostly just frustrated by seeing people I know act like kids again, and then imply that they were so much better than the rest of us slobs because they found a song and, by god, that song was written specifically for them. By the by, if you're reading this, it wasn't you I would be refering to, so rest easy.