Years ago my brother ....

...and I were hanging around in the garden of a house that my parents had just bought and needed doing up, therefore there was no bathroom. My brother was absolutely bursting for a poo so he did it behind some trees in the garden. Later on we heard my father yelling frantically - he'd been mooching around in the garden and had come across the gargantuan turd my brother had produced...... "My god, look at this!!!" he cried, "What kind of enormous animal could have done something as DISGUSTING as this!??!" as he looked nervously around. It didn't cross his mind that it could have been human. We didn't tell him the truth for years! What is funny is that he was so shocked at the size of the turd and what monster could have produced it that when we brought it up he remembered!!